She is in my mind

they are there

Inside me but not all of me just my mind

The part of me that has the common sense

Wild heart, the ruthless attitude, silent consent

And fear

Of getting what she had 

becoming what she came

Forgetful

Absent minded

Losing the will to speak or eat

The not remembering that just because the news man is talking to you, he’s not really talking to you

It’s just a pattern not real flowers on the couch and your mama is not my mama but your first born

I have always been there inside myself since I can remember

Bryden, Central, Epworth and Central again. Not mere addresses, but homes that a corner was labeled just for,

Silence, she had no name then

Tweety, silly and a conformist 

Denise, discovered and full of advocacy for all of us

Rosalind, she never became until, well, she is my face, so many faces that are tired of being,

Controlled…

She says be guided by Him, Jesus, you trust Him, don’t you?

How could He hover over and not intervene when I had no voice

No strength to fight back

No one to fight for me

When mama beat the voice out of me while teachers, students, neighbors watched

I am not silence but she is me. I am not silly, she is me. Advocate is,

He, she is inside of me

I fear losing sight of her

Forgetting

Absently being unaware of her scent

Losing will to speak to eat to sleep

she is inside of me

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