I am worth more

it’s okay for me to demand more for myself and not settle for less than what God has for me in a relationship. 

If there comes a time when you are in a relationship with someone, and you are accepting all the things that you always said you would never accept, it is time to have the tough conversation with them on goals. 

If they are not willing to change what they can to fight for you then you have to move on. 

At what point as women do we decide in our lives that less is more? Is it because we had an absent father so any man will do? Or did we grow up in an abusive dysfunctional family and we know we shouldn’t be abused in our heart of hearts but this is all we know?

I was explaining to a friend that I have experienced every kind of bad relationship with male and female alike and now God wants me to have the best second half of my life with a relationship that I deserve. 

An artist friend of mine wrote a song called “when it gets real”, and today it got real. I have advocated and rescued others and never received a rescue as God can only give. Today I heard Him whispering to me, “people can’t rescue you when I have already rescued you. I am your advocate Rosalind. I sit on the right hand of my Father interceding on your behalf. ”

I had never heard Jesus’ voice so clear as I heard it this day. 

I had sat for hours explaining what I needed to have in a relationship because of what I  never had in my life. To be taken care of as I have taken care of others emotionally, financially in my mind body and soul. Now it was my turn to receive these same sacrifices from the other person that I so readily give without reciprocation. 

Well, even though I have had this conversation a few times in my life, I never really waited to hear God speak after all the communication between me and the other person. 

When it got real in my marriage and I finally asked for what I was giving, he left. When it got real with a person that I was so faithful and loyal to and walked in on one of his others, I asked for what I deserved and he resolved that I wasn’t worth what I gave because he couldn’t change. I have many more when it got real moments, But when it got real today it wasn’t because there were intolerable things that Noone could ever live with. I refused to live with it unless there was action taken immediately because talking a good game for 15 months and actually being about it is a waste of both our time. In the real ness of asking for what I needed and realizing that if I have to keep asking for it maybe it’s not in Gods plan for me. 

The thing is if the person is the one for you, then if you have to ask in more ways than one, it’s begging and you need to stop.

Well I wasn’t rescued or fought for, sure it hurts and I cried (am crying). But what God revealed to me was so much better. He already healed my heart for this. If I never go through anything how can I be a testimony to others? This is my life’s ministry. 

So I’m worth more than accepting the chronic contentment that being complacent brings. If you have no future individual goals that you’re pressing towards, how can you have relationship goals with another person?

It does hurt because on the surface he seems perfect but not for me. 

I am worth more. 



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