this week I sat in on a Lunch n Learn at work with our organizations life coach guru. He shared many insightful and in your face words and actions to live by points.
One point was to “Be an expert on you”
I’ve learned that now in my very early 40’s that I know myself pretty well. The good the bad and the beautiful (I won’t say the “U” word) It took years to accept and live in my skin. Don’t get me wrong I still have my double-minded moments but I make a decision about the direction of my life and I stick to it. Be it right or wrong in others eyes.
As a people pleaser all my life, I learned the hard way. Shove my thoughts feelings and beliefs away so that there is no conflict, to be liked, to make peace and to live life according to “you”. So many precious years were lost trying to fit in, be everyone’s friend and place others on a pedestal neglecting my own needs. I dropped my basket way too many times because I failed to know that I am not a people pleaser but a God pleaser and a Rosalind pleaser.
I think about my first CD release ministry event, and how inhibited I felt to actually share the details of myself because members of my family and some friends from work were there. I didn’t want to hurt my families feelings and I didn’t want to make my mother feel as if she was a horrible mother to me growing up. I also didn’t want to taint my image by bringing up past experiences that God had delivered me from and make anyone feel uncomfortable.
My deliverance was not based on anyone’s opinions of me. In the big film of it all, what mattered was the overcoming that others were to have by my testimony.
I am unapologetically who my Creator has molded me to be. Fearfully and wonderfully made. Not perfect but being perfected everyday as I walk with Him.
I’m forgiving myself for taking Romans 12:10 so literally and esteeming others higher than myself. When it truly means to take delight in honoring others as a form of respect not in abuse of my own well being.
Today, I don’t feel guilty about separating myself from organized religious systems because I understand that it is about my Relationship with God through all that I am in Jesus Christ. At the end of my day, it resolves to my worship, my prayers, my service to Him. I take joy in that because it’s real and I share my testimony and His Word to all who will receive. I believe in church as family and a safe place to encourage share and be encouraged while doing Gods work in our communities.
Being the expert on my life is freeing. I have opened up creative levels within myself to grow and minister as He intended for me.